Hyper Jae: Worst Jedi Ever, Part 1


Sarkopheros Says:

If you haven’t read Sarkopheran smut, then you’re in for a wild ride. Basically, this is a hentai-physics-fueled gonzo space-orgy. If you only like realistic sex, this is not the story for you.

If you’ve read Hyper Jae or Brod, then you have some idea of what to expect, although this story is extreme even for a Hyper Jae. He’s bigger than usual here. I’m serious, his cock is like twenty feet long. I’m telling you up front because I can’t count how many people read my warnings and then complain that the story was too absurd.

Expect hyper cocks, cum inflation, cervical penetration, stomach bulging, and a complete misconception of physiology to name a few things.

Yes, this takes place in the Star Wars setting, specifically the SWTOR era. If you spot any canon errors, let me know. While Master Shan makes a brief appearance, no canons were harmed during the writing of this story.


The massive doors to the council chamber opened, and in he came … or a part of him came, anyway.

Grand Master Shan sighed in exasperation. She began reciting the same words she’d said innumerable times before. There is no emotion, there is peace….

The source of her current dismay was the gargantuan phallus waggling its way into the chamber. The phallus was a golden, honeyed tan in coloration, and was well over two meters long. Under it, nearly sweeping the floor, swung a pair of testicles each of which was a good meter in breadth.

Oh, and the genitals were also attached to a man. A male human who carried his ludicrous endowment slung over his shoulder like a sack of tubers. While he wore boots, a Jedi’s ... robe? And a utility belt complete with a pair of lightsabers, that was all he was wearing.

Just as Republic law allowed aliens to wear clothing adapted to their physiology or culture without persecution, Jae wore clothing adapted to his. Thus, it was illegal to force some of the dignity he lacked onto him.

Predictably, he walked over to Satele and flopped his cock onto the table next to her. WHUMP. The entire table shuddered.

“Sup, Master Shan,” he said, smiling genially at her.

Shan collected her thoughts and facepalmed. Mentally, at least. Jedi Grand Masters must always keep composure, after all! Despite the fact that a cock bigger than she was had just been plopped onto her table.

“Jae, I called you here … is that a bathrobe?”

Jae looked down. “Yeah, I’m sorry. All my robes need to be cleaned, and I didn’t have a chance to go to the Jedi store. They’re all crusted with dry—”

“I’m sure you have a good reason,” interrupted the Grand Master. “I called you here to discuss a mission we need you to undertake,” she said. At least his bathrobe wasn’t encrusted with the DNA of assorted species as his actual Jedi robes surely were. It was, honestly, a wonder his weapons were even functional with all the fluid they got exposed to.

The knight nodded. “I figured something was going on if you were allowing me back in the council chamber.”

No one would ever forget that day. Shan nodded and said, “We received a list of the crew on board an Imperial dreadnought. Usually, they aren’t very important.”

Jae nodded. “Okay.”

“But this one is strange because the crew is all female. We believe it may be related to intel we received concerning a possible Imperial measure to increase the birth rate of Force users.”

“So you want me to go check it out?”

“Yes, because the last thing we need is more Sith. There are also rumors that the ship is transporting some experimental droids.” Satele looked up at him. “Find out what is going on with that ship, Jae.”

“I can do that,” he said. “But first, don’t you think I should—”

Shan narrowed her eyes. “Do not hold another ‘special training class’ for the female padawans, Jae!”

Jae sighed and bowed his head. “I’ll take care of your dreadnought, Master Shan, you’ll see. I’ll make you proud.”

She stood and put her hand on his shoulder. The one that he hadn’t slung his cock over. On the plus side, today he didn’t reek like a brothel on Nar Shaddaa. “May the Force be with you, Jae.”

Jae bowed back, pulled his obscenity off the table, and left.


Four black-armored Imperial troopers stood near the docking port. The tallest one turned her helmet over in her hands. Her brown hair was up in a neat bun, which would have been squashed had she been wearing her helmet, and clearly, fashionable hair was far more important than head-protection. “Why do our helmets look like buckets?”

“Everybody’s wondering the same thing, Kalice,” answered the short blonde, whose nametag said Tamia.

“I wonder if they came from a bucket factory?” asked Kalice.

A redhead was nearby. Her armor was uniquely customized—it completely lacked anything resembling a chestplate. The empire was very willing to spend billions of credits building hundred-meter statues of sith and building kilometers-long dreadnoughts that no one asked for. It was also quite happy to bankroll one particular sith’s idea for a droid that shot pizzas out of its chest. But buying proper armor for the infantry was just so provincial.

Instead of chest armor, which would have never fit over her gargantuan tits, she’d just stuck each fat mammary into a helmet. One of the helmets had “Dessa” scrawled across it with silver marker. She said,  “Maybe the helmets look like buckets so we can take bail out of the ship if it sinks.”

Kalice shook her head. “How would … huh?”

The fourth girl, who had tan skin and jet-black hair, spoke up. “Even if the ship crashed in an ocean, how would you bail all that water out?”

“Oh yeah, can you think of a better way, Weni?”

KLANG. KLANG. There was a knock on the hatch. All of them turned towards it.

“Who is that?” asked Kalice.

Tamia shrugged. “How the hell should I know? Go open it and find out.”

Kalice walked over and keyed open the door. The pad chirped and it swung out with a groan. She was greeted by—WHUMP. Something massive and heavy fell on top of her, pinning her down, fleshy and hot, heavy as a hutt!

Her partner stood dumbfounded as her friend flailed under a dewback-sized cock. It was attached to a Jedi. Or, at least, a muscular guy wearing a bathrobe and not much else. The robe exposed a set of solid abs and a flat, broad chest.

The guard on the ground continued to writhe, trying to wrestle the organ off of her, but was plainly too heavy.

Tamia asked, “Who are you supposed to be?”

Jae said, “I’m a Jedi.”

Tamia jabbed her finger at his “uniform.” “No you’re not, that’s just a bathrobe!”

Weni held her helmet up and began talking into it. “We need backup near starboard docking port 4C. A hobo with a huge dick just boarded the ship.”

Jae lifted the sides of the bathrobe and said, “Check out these lightsabers, girl.” He lifted his arms, and the sabers floated into the air on either side of him, humming to life, red-orange blades burning bright. “Yeah, if I’m not a Jedi, explain that.

“Okay, fine, you’re a damn Jedi, whoop-dee-ding-dong,” said Tamia. “Why are you on my ship wearing a bathrobe? That is not appropriate attire.”

The Jedi’s lightsabers turned off, and he returned them to his belt. “All my Jedi robes are getting cleaned. Anyway, our uniforms all look like bathrobes anyway, just brown,” he said.

“Granted,” said Tamia, looking down at Kalice as she kept struggling with the weight of the titanic organ. She grabbed handfuls of its foreskin and tried to roll it off of her.

Weni looked at him and said, “I didn’t know the Republic was genetically engineering weapons of mass destruction.” She put her blaster down and walking to the head of his cock. It looked wider than her shoulders. She bent over and hefted the cock’s glans with both hands. Jae raised his own, and the ridiculous organ lifted off the poor trooper.

Kalice clawed away from it and gasped for air. “Aaaauuugh! What the hell?!” she yelled, then sputtered and began licking her lips. “I can taste it!” she complained at the Jedi and his monstrosity. “Ooh. I can taste it….” She continued licking her lips.

Dessa let out an excited chirp and jumped up onto the base of the Jedi’s ludicrous organ, helmets bobbing as she sat. “I’ve never met a real Jedi before!” She reached up and touched his face. “You seem cooler than they said!”

“Sup, girl? I’m Jae. You’re cute,” he said, smiling and shaking her hand. “What’s up with these helmets?”

“Normal armor won’t fit!” she whined. “Wow, are all Jedi as big as you?”

“Only me,” Jae said.

“How did you get here?”

“They shot me out of a torpedo tube,” he answered.

“Yeah, right. Holy shit, you’re not even hard,” observed Kalice. The three other women were all standing near the massive glans as a melon-sized glob of precum rolled out of its mouth.

“You could fix that, girl,” suggested the Jedi. His massive organ rose up like a serpent. The women gasped and moved backward.

“What the hell kind of cock is that?!” yelled Tamia. “How are you human?!”

Jae shrugged. “It’s a Jae cock. I’m human, just better endowed, girl. Plus, I can use the Force to do cool stuff.” As he peered past Dessa, his cock’s belly swelled and a broad jet of precum blasted from its mouth. SPLLLRSSCCHH! Steaming-hot slime saturated the ladies. It coated their armor thickly, dripping down their plating and into a pool under them.

Kalice wiped a handful of slime from her face. Tamia began licking at it.

Mmmhh,” she hummed. “This isn’t as nasty as I thought.”

A hot, heady smell began to radiate from that hot puddle of pre, literally steaming in the cool interior of the ship. The ladies began to lick their lips as it invaded their nostrils—the strong, sordid smell of virility.

Gloorp. Grrmmbbbll. Jae’s balls began to rumble and sag lower as they swelled. “Come on, you gotta be curious to see me hard,” he said to the women present.

He looked up. Jae didn’t understand why capital ships were so capacious inside. The ceiling was a good four or five stories above him. Wasn’t space at a premium on board a space vessel? Regardless, the Jedi predicted that all this empty space would come in handy.

But he wasn’t looking to see how high the ceiling was—he was looking for what was on the ceiling.

“Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt. But we’re going to have to arrest you, Jedi scum,” said Kalice.

He shrugged at her. “Okay, but later.” There it was. Set into the bulkhead, not the ceiling. An intake for the ship’s ventilation system.

First, Tamia began to undo her cuirass. Then, Kalice began to fiddle with her boots. The troopers began to strip down, exposing their toned bodies.

Dessa groaned and whined as she tried to take the helmets off of her massive tits. “Ugh, these things are too small!” she complained.

“It’s almost as if helmets weren’t meant to be worn on your bloody tits,” suggested Tamia.

“Let me help,” said Jae. He gestured. POP! POP!  The helmets flew away and— FLUMP. “Holy shit.” Those tits were about twice the size of the helmets, each one like a watermelon! Fat nipples as big as his thumbs sprung free. “How the fuck did you put your tits in there? Are you a wizard?” he asked.

Dessa giggled. “No, I’m from Dromund Kaas!”

Jae felt cold hardness as his balls swelled heavily enough to touch the floor. He put a hand on Dessa’s back and lifted his leg. The gigantic flesh-melons slipped back behind him.

The three women knelt by his glans and began to fondle it. Tamia slipped her hands under the foreskin and licked her lips as pints of hot semen began to leak out. But she stared in confusion as she pulled out a bright orange object which turned out to be a bikini.

Likewise, the other two began to pull out assorted undergarments with lewd squishing. Squilsch. Squilsch-squelsch. Their arms became coated with white seed, and they began to look more and more confused.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” apologized Jae.

“I’d be more surprised if those things weren’t there!” chirped Dessa, bouncing happily on his cock as she peeled off more and more armor.  “Where else would you keep them?”

“Good point,” Jae chuckled and began to help her with the task, rubbing his hands over her tits. “Smooth like a neutron star,” he commented.

At the front of his cock, Tamia began to massage and knead the thick, fleshy lobes around the cock’s mouth. The other two women began to rub against it, their delicate fingers tracing up the backside of the glans as they began to lick. The monstrous organ responded by beginning to grow, leg-thick veins bloating along its surface as the head pushed forward, creeping centimeter by centimeter across the plating.

Fresh, boiling-hot precum poured by the liter from the tip and into their waiting mouths. The moaning women began to slather handfuls of the slickness all over the dome of the organ as it slithered forward.

CHRRRRRMBBBLL. The gigantic testes swelled and rippled as sperm multiplied within. The Jedi let out a growl and sat back against his growing nuts. His coarse hands wrapped under Dessa’s ass and he picked her up as marbles of white sweetness began to roll down her gigantic tits. His lips wrapped around one of those fat nipples. Hot milk filled his mouth and rolled down his throat as he drank from her, the other tit pouring the whiteness over his chest and soaking into his robe.

His ludicrous cock pushed forward across the cool tiles. His nuts rose behind him, each now big enough for an astromech droid to fit comfortably inside. The ladies kept having to scoot and step back as the phallus grew.

“Holy shit, you can stop, already!” yelled Tamia.

Kalice looked up the length of his cock, like a honey-tan highway stretching out toward the Jedi’s chiseled abs. It was over four meters and still growing! And that smell! His cock sprayed hot liters of slime all over them once more, waggling its head back and forth.

The fluid rolled down their bodies. The heat seemed to collect between their legs. Each of them grew more wet, more needy, mounds plumping with arousal.

Jae sighed as he smelled them. It was just such a delicious scent.

There was a clomp-clomp-clomp! Dozens of troopers descended upon them from halls on either side of the room. Armor rattled, weapons came out. All those blasters were aimed right at him.

“Halt, stop—what…?”


The lady-troopers all stared for a long moment at the scene before them.

“Is that a Jedi?”

“No, that’s a hobo. Who else walks around in only a bathrobe?”

“I don’t think he can wear pants even if he wanted to.”

Tamia, Kalice, and Weni looked around at their comrades. Dessa, of course, was giggling like mad as the Jedi sucked down her milk. He pulled his lips away from her gigantic tit and looked around the room, more of the trooper’s milk pouring down his body.

“I’m flattered by the welcoming committee, ladies,” he said.

“We need help!” cried Weni.

“Yeah, you idiots, don’t just stand there, take your clothes off!” yelled Tamia.

His cock was still partially soft … enough for him to curve its glans to one side, then the other. GLOOOOOORCH! A bright arc of clear, boiling-hot slime blasted all over the gathered audience. Bath-tubs worth of fluid drenched their armor. Some of the women fell back. Some shielded themselves. TSEW! TSEW!  Bright bolts lanced toward him from a few of those blasters. Jae’s lightsabers were already out, buzzing, deflecting the blasts away from everyone, blasting smoking holes into the bulkheads.

A metallic voice came from one of them. “By the Force, can you smell that?!”

“Oh god, it’s in my uniform!”

A woman collapsed. “Oh, it’s so hot!”

One by one, helmets began to pop off. Jae smiled. Who needs the mind trick, anyway? he mused.

Piles of black armor grew. Bodies were exposed. Military-honed women began to move toward him. Precum kept  gushing from his cock in an arc, clear fluid rolling out over the deck’s plating. The ladies walked through the pool towards him.

Many of them knelt on either side of his cock. They scooped up handfuls of the steaming pre and slathered it all over themselves. Messy hands rubbed over glistening flesh. Soft breasts were shining. Fingers slipped between freshly-coated thighs. Women used their mouths to gather up more of the precious fluid. They groped and oiled each other. Moans echoed in the room as they wrestled each other into the pool, clear ropes sticking them together.

Some used it to lube up his cock, massaging and polishing his flesh with the pre as if it were fine oil. The Jedi let out a pleased groan. Entire bodies were used to oil his member, women clambering up its sides and swarming over its titanic length. The troopers climbed up on top of his pulsing organ and began to grind against it. Finally, he felt himself reach his full size.

“This thing is like a space worm!” moaned one of the women. Six meters of gargantuan cock, the fattest part looking to be maybe one and a half across. So fat the women couldn’t get their arms around it. So long than three or four of them end to end may have equaled its length. So massive it would take dozens of them just to move it.

His balls gurgled as they grew behind him, each one jiggling as its height surpassed his own. Some of the ladies were kind enough to rub, slip, and slide against his balls, kissing and licking. He could feel it as some of the Imperials climbed up on top. They grabbed handfuls of the thick, loose flesh and clambered upon them. It was difficult with how slippery the fluids were, but they managed.

The slick hoards were grinding and rubbing against his absurd manhood, groaning and licking and kneading. His precum rolled over their feet, the huge, metallic room filling with that scent. His balls sent vibrations through the floor as they grew behind him, radiating heat that warmed the whole compartment. His organ’s veins were of a proper size for its bulk, meaning they rivaled the thighs and waists of the women in thickness. They provided handholds and leverage for ladies to climb atop his organ. Two of them were clinging to the glans, pumping their fists in and out of its mouth  to stimulate it into releasing more of that sweet slime.

GRRMMBBBLL. GRRNNOOONGH! A metallic groan as his balls pushed aside a couple of the huge metal containers sitting in the room. Dessa cooed and ground her hips against his cock, against one of the veins pumping under her. Her milk spilled all over his body as he sucked a mouthful of tit-flesh, covering him in white-hot sweetness that wasn’t his own.

Their legs and arms, their breasts and bellies, their breath and lips, it all stimulated his fleshy behemoth. The precum in the room surpassed ankle depth. Some of it was beginning to flow into the air intakes on the walls. The steaming cloud of hot cock-musk was beginning to circulate through the ship.

He looked up and grinned. “Now, who wants to get fucked first?” He looked at Kalice. “You know, I never did make it up to you. I almost smothered you with my dick, girl.”

Kalice smacked her lips, licking precum from her fingers.

At some point during the fray, she’d ended up standing near the glans, pumping her arm in and out of it. The organ was so massive, so powerful, and it gave off such huge amounts of heat that she was sweating profusely. She looked at its owner and said, “Show me how a Jedi fucks, scumdog.”

Jae lifted his hands, summoning the Force for what was clearly a very important purpose. Because what higher calling could there be than using it to bang your enemy?

Kalice felt an invisible grip lifting her body into the air. She yelped. Her neat bun had fallen into sloppy disarray, soaked through with liquid, wet strands draping about her head. The Jedi spread her legs, bending her over in mid-air. The heat that warmed her needy, dripping entrance spoke of his phallic might. In fact, Kalice was thinking, That is a mighty phallus. Wait….

“Oh my god, my name rhyme with phallus!” Then she rocketed through the air with stomach-turning force. She slammed cunt-first into the cock’s head. She shrieked. “Waaaaghh!

That massive glans wrenched her cunt open in a second, stretched her out to cartoonish degree, penetrated her womb in a blink. Her belly bulged out, and she found herself slipping back, back, stretching like latex over that ludicrous organ. Her insides were on fire, and her mind completely blanked. Her eyes closed. Her legs flailed. Her toes curled. Her hands made fists. A scream tore from her throat. Hot juices sprayed out around the Jedi’s cock, bathing that organ’s incredible diameter, her whole body rippling as it pushed her insides aside. SKLLRRT! SKLLRRT!

Her belly stretched out, under her chest, reaching in front of her, the woman now turned into a cinnamon-colored condom, her flesh stretching like latex. It didn’t end, she just kept sliding back, back, more and more cock forced into her. Hundreds, then thousands of kilos of Jedi cuntbuster were forced into her poor little body, and the sensation was every as huge as the thing inside her. Everything was on fire. Hot, Imperial nectar mixed with precum, showering the crowded bodies.

Jae licked his teeth, looking past Dessa’s shoulder as he pulled Kalice back over his cock like a sock over his foot. Of course, this meant the poor women surrounding his cock were cut off from directly touching its surface. The woman’s motion sent up a spray of precum. All the women around them began rubbing his cock through her flesh, every vein and contour outlined under her skin.

Kalice felt her ass slam into Dessa’s, her cheek against her own stomach. Then, she began to slide up and down his length, as if on a roller coaster. She careened forward, then got yanked backwards, meter after meter of gargantuan organ slamming her over and over. There was no describing this fucking.

“Your balls are getting huge!” cooed Dessa, reaching up behind Jae to rub her hands over his nuts. In the process, she engulfed his head in her heavy bust. He couldn’t see a thing.

But he didn’t need to see to continue using Kalice like a fleshlight. And through the Force, he could feel her raw ecstasy, the arousal and pleasure of all around himm and it helped feed the rampant replication of his seed.

Those nuts rose up, breaching the three-meter mark in height, more than that in width—their sheer mass meant they were more oval than spherical in shape. They churned and rumbled menacingly.

SCHLOOORK-SCHLIIIICK. SCHLOOORK-SCHLIIIICK.Hawaaaaugh!” screamed Kalice, her inside quaking as her orgasm refused to end. The Jedi manhandled her without even looking. With how fast she slipped up and down his gargantuan rod, it was amazing she was aware of anything.

Jae, of course, was only partially paying attention to her, because Dessa had gone back to feeding him pint after pint of milk. She was very insistent about it, saying, “You need to be nice and strong so you can fuck everyone! It wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t!”

Jae tried to speak, but she just shoved her breast into his face hard enough for it to engulf it. He couldn’t see past all that tit-flesh.

“You should cum quick so we can all go!” said the perky little redhead.

Finally, Jae wrestled her milk-spewing tit out of his face so he could speak without nipples interrupting him. “Good idea, girl, but don’t worry, I got enough cock for this whole ship, okay?”

“Aww! You’re not so bad, you’re the nicest Jedi I’ve ever met!” chirped the happy redhead.

“Didn’t you say I was the onl—GLLRGLL!” Once again, a fat nipple interrupted him with pints of hot milk.

His balls were now towering high above as nude, slick bodies rubbed and moaned against them. They began to rumble and quake. GRRRMMBBBBLLLLLLL. The deck plates began to shake. Jae pulled Kalice back against his body, the slime causing her to slip underneath Dessa’s ass.

GLRRSSSCHH. A gushing was audible deep in his balls. It would be several seconds before anyone realized what it was. The belly of his cock bloated outward. A solid column of steaming, gooey liquid distended its throat and forced a groan from Jae’s. A raging tsunami of virility boiled over....

A dark-skinned girl and a blonde rubbed Jae’s glans, standing at its tip. They groaned and cooed and licked and lapped at that thing right through Kalice’s flesh. Sure, they heard the rumbling, but who heard an earthquake and thought, “Golly, I bet this man is about to ejaculate!”

BLOOOOORCH. A column of jizz as wide as them blasted the insides of Kalice’s womb.

Jae let out a long roar of pleasure, “AAAUGH! Fuck the Empire!”

Bathtubs worth of jizz exploded inside Kalice, her shriek piercing the room and echoing off of its walls. “Aaauuuuugh! Aaiiiieee! Fuuuuuck!” Her legs flailed like mad as her toes curled.

And the hapless girls standing in front of his cock when it went off? Kalice’s belly abruptly expanded with such force they went flying into the air, trailing shining arcs of precum.

“Fuck!” cried the blonde as she spun away, tumbling end over end as she landed in a laundry cart being pushed by a droid.

The dark-skinned girl shrieked as she plunged head-first into a pile of clean clothing being pushed by another droid. “How convenient the laundry schedule is,” she mused.

The droid sighed in exasperation. “I will have you know, ma’am, that genetic fluid is not an optimal detergent. This entire batch must be washed again!”

SPLOOOOORT. Kalice shrieked as her belly grew and grew, spreading to the sides and underneath her, lifting her up as the space around Jae’s cock filled up. Her growing stomach engulfed the women on either side, rolling over them and pinning them down under a wall of sweaty-slimy skin.

GLUUUUURCH. That raging tsunami continued. SPLUUURT, SPLUUURT, SPLUUURT. Every epic wad took several long seconds just to leave the cock. And every wad pushed her a little further towards the tip.

Kalice collapsed, her mind apparently finding a dream to be the safest place to take refuge in the face of this stimulatory hurricane.

Jae moaned into Dessa’s tits as Kalice crept further along, her belly allowing the women underneath to breathe once more. They wasted no time in moaning and lapping at the gallons of cum spraying out around his cock, head-sized blobs of thick seed exploding against their bodies and painting them white.

Another centimeter, another, and Kalice’s lips were almost disengaged from the glans, clinging on by the rear edge. GLOOOOOOORCH!

And away she went.

The sheer force of all that semen sent her on a very short flight, her body flying about half a meter off the ground and a few meters away. Her massive weight kept her from going far. A hot jet of spunk erupted from her body. Her belly was a great balloon of skin that lifted her several meters high. A white arc spewed high into the air, the trooper’s gaping cunt becoming a fountain.

But Jae wasn’t done.

SPLOOOORCH. Thousands and thousands of liters of thick whiteness blasted across the compartment, painting the far wall white. Jae leaned back against his towering, still-swelling nuts as even Dessa was distracted by his orgasm. She turned around watched in amazement. Jae’s cock impossibly lifted itself up from the deck, moving slightly at its base, sweeping the room.

All the women were buried in steaming yogurt-thick jizz that ran over them and covered the floor. The spunk rolled down the walls, dripped from the ceiling, erupted from his cock .

All this screaming and commotion, of course, drew reinforcements after several minutes. They were hit by the deluge as sperm rolled across the floor. A seminal tsnuami swept many of them off their feet. Sperm rolled down the walls. It poured into the ventilation shafts, the ship’s systems doing a fine job of infusing its entire atmosphere with raw Jae-musk.

Finally, he decided to stop cumming. The huge room was now knee-deep in Jedi seed.


The smell was getting stronger.

Captain Torvast stood at ease, watching hyperspace writhe around her ship. Nothing was exploding. No Sith were shooting lightning at the vending machines. For the moment, things were boring. Which was a good thing when you worked for magical lunatics who would stop at nothing to get a candy bar.

The bridge crew chatted quietly, monitoring their stations, keeping noise to a minimum. She didn’t even notice the smell at first. Just a sort of warmth growing deep in her stomach. A slight flush of the cheeks.

The captain wiggled her nose as the heat built deep in her belly.

“Captain, you should see this,” said one of her crew.

She walked over, polished boots clanking against polished durasteel. “Yes, Ensign?”

“This starboard compartment,” said the ensign, pointing at her display. “I don’t know if our systems are going mad, but it seems we’ve gained several … hundred … tons of biological liquid?”

“That doesn’t make sense,” agreed Captain Torvast. “Send more people to investigate. And … check on the integrity of the ventilation system. I smell something funny,” she said.

“Oh, I do too, it smells good,” said the ensign.

“Yes, but I want to make sure nothing is wrong,” said Torvast. “Get a tech in there if you have to.”

“Aye-aye, captain.”


The compartment was rapidly filling.

Haaawaaugh!” screamed another woman as she was blasted from the end of Jae’s cock. Dozens of them packed the room. It was wall-to-wall bellies, swollen up like each woman had swallowed a couple of banthas. They jiggled, sprayed, and leaked. The jizz was meters deep, lapping at the steps up towards the side halls. Their massive bellies kept the women from having to swim.

Almost no wall or ceiling was visible. Dark metal turned white as waves of spunk half a meter thick rolled down them, falling in globs onto the women below. Stalactites of semen stretched down before blobs of seed snapped off. The melon-sized balloons splattered on the bodies below as the chamber filled with groaning.

Fuck-musk filled the room instead of air, a scent that made itself felt in the loins of any who entered. Waves of semen rolled along, splashing against the epically swollen bellies of the sea’s occupants. Arcs of spunk fountained high into the air, the women’s spraying, stretched-out cunts drenching each other with the Jedi’s genetics.

Those genetics were now flooding the ventilation system.


Life Support Technician Veela grunted a she replaced the panel on the ventilation sensor. The shaft was getting warmer and warmer. And she found it harder and harder to walk without rubbing her knees together.

Grrrnnngh. Metal groaned. The woman looked back, forth, and shrugged. Metal groaned all the time.

GLLRRSSSCHH. A sound like liquid? The hell is that noise?

Veela turned the corner and stopped, her eyes wide as saucers. A white wall was careening towards her, the walls shaking as it came. The heat rose quickly. She turned and began to run from the gushing wall. “Shit!”

But she was too slow. The thick liquid engulfed her, blasting her along the tube like a water slide. It entered her mouth, soaked through her uniform, sorted her tools. And then she realized that it was sperm. The ventilation system was full of sperm.


The women in one of the infantry berths were changing clothes as they got ready for their shift. A redhead laid on the top bunk of one of the beds, lazily browsing the holonet on her datapad.

“Essah, get your ass up! You need to get some breakfast!” yelled Risett.

“Yes, once I finish this article,” she said.

GrrrlllLLLSCCH. A weird noise came from the ventilation shaft above her bunk. Something hot splashed against her cheek. She swept it up with a fingertip and rubbed it, then smelled it. “Sperm?”

“Not right now,” answered Risett, making her bed.

GLOOOORSCH! White erupted from the bench, a wave that drenched her, blinded her, and knocked her off the top bunk and onto the floor.

She flailed and slipped trying to get up, clawing at the liquid as the women yelled in surprise.

After intolerable moments it was over, and she could taste the thick gunk. Essah wiped it from her eyes. The berth was now knee-deep in jizz.

 Risette was kneeling, slurping spunk from her cupped hands. “Looks like breakfast got us!” she said happily.


Captain Torvast sat in her seat, rubbing her knees together and breathing heavily. She chewed her lower lip nervously, and looked around, hoping no one would notice.

But everyone was noticing the problem, because they all had the same one. The entire bridge was breathing that raw eau-de-orgy and it was every bit as inviting as the scent of the Acolyte and Apprentice Friendship Bake Sale on Korriban, if not moreso.

She squirmed, feeling her fluids squishing under her, noting the darkening of her uniform.

“E-Ensign. How’s that compartment?” she asked.

“It’s still full. Wow. Do you smell that?”

“Yes, Ensign, disregard.”

“Yeah, the … what? I’m getting some weird readings from the ventilation system. It says there’s lifeforms inside of it? I’m also getting reports of a Jedi on board the ship.”

Torvast squinted, “How exactly—”

Chrrrmbbllll. GRRRNNNGH. SPLOOSCH! Abruptly, a hurricane of musky, goopy, fresh, steaming jizz exploded above Torvast, soaking through her uniform, coating her skin in centimeters of virility. It was in her mouth, soaking her hair.

Pulses of semen blasted from the other ducts, drenching more of the ladies. Pools rolled across the floor, consoles were saturated.

Semen kept pouring into the bridge. The something heavy hit her. A shriek. The captain wrestled with the frantic person for a moment in the rolling gunk. Then she saw who it was. “Veela?” she asked.

“I found out what was wrong with the ventilation system,” said Veela.


“Same stuff you’re lying in,” said the tech.

Aauugh!” growled the Captain. “Where is the nearest Imperial spacedock?”

The helmswoman spoke up. “Quite close, we can be there—”

“Take us there!” ordered Torvast.

“Aye, sir.”

“I’m going to ask those blasted Sith to investigate,” grunted Torvast. Even as she scooped some of the hot fluid up and slurped it down. “Mmm. This is awful.”


Jae floated along the surface, his fleshy monstrosity still pulsing and hard.

Most Jedi had useful senses, like predicting incoming blaster-bolts or lightsabers. That was fairly normal. Many had more specialized senses. Some could feel their allies and family across space. Some could even sweep entire quadrants with their senses. The miraluka decided that the force was even better than eyeballs so they stopped using them.

Jae had a special sense, too. He could feel them, intangible vibrations against the skin of his organ. All the warm bodies within the ship to stretch over his cock.

Beside him, Dessa floated along in one of the laundry bins. The improvised boat bumped up against Kalice’s belly. She was using her helmet to bail sperm out of the container. “See, Kalice! I told you!”

Jae chuckled. “I think it’s time I explored the ship, ladies,” he said. The Force propelled his manhood, and even his own body, up and into the cavernous hallway. A slick cushion of pre and seed slid under him, as if he were some kind of hutt that was even nastier and messier than usual. He could just about reach the ground with his feet, but he didn’t bother using them, instead positioning himself atop his own cock as if it were a speeder. The entire spectacle was, in all honesty, utterly ridiculous. A Jedi riding a 6-meter cock down the hallway of an Imperial dreadnought.


“You have no concept what the Sith are capable of!” screamed Lord Zivarr, red eyes smoldering in the shadow of her hood. “Action and promises are different things—let me show you the action of the Dark Side!

VRRRM-KHRAK! Lightning arced from her fingers into the vending machine in front of her. The Wookiee Cookiees were still stuck.

She frowned and punched the glass face of the wretched device, and—

KLUNK. “Ow!” she wiggled her hand.


She held up the device and activated it. The Captain appeared. And she was a mess, drenched in some kind of liquid.

“What happened to you?” asked the pureblood.

The Captain began to speak. “Lord Zivarr, I am sorry to trouble you, but it seems—”

“I’m sorry, too! I will tear this ship apart if I am not given—”

“If this is about the vending machine, try shaking it from the left side. Gently,” suggested the Captain.

“Don’t you tell me what to do, human!”

“It is a suggestion, my lord.”

Zivarr scanned the room. Then she got on the left side of the machine and gently pushed on the side.

The Wookiee Cookiees came free.

“...You have served me well. This time, Captain,” said the sith. “You may speak.”

“Thank you. My lord, we have a problem near one of the starboard docking ports. It may be nothing, but we are receiving readings of thousands of tons of biological matter in the ventilation ducts and that hold. My tech said she found the ducts flooded with this matter. We also received a few strange reports of a … Jedi cock-monster? Those were the words I was told, my lord,” spoke the glowing hologram.

Zivarr nodded. “And I expect you want me to deal with this?”

“I would be grateful if you investigated, my lord.”

Zivarr stroked one of her face-tendrils. “Very well, Captain. I will confer with the other Sith lords on board, gather my apprentices, and see about this Jedi cock-monster.”


Sarkopheros keeps talking:

As always, all comments, be they critical, compliments, or otherwise, are encouraged. I had a lot of fun writing this. Thanks for reading.


Written by Sarkopheros

Copyright © Sarkopheros 2015. All rights reserved.

This story is a work of fiction and is intended solely for the entertainment of adults.


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