Explained: What is Maledom?
The concept of male dominance has been existent since the onset of humanity as we know it, ancient and even religious books have always depicted society as a patriarchal one where men lead, and women follow as it relates to societal relationships. However, with the start of the 21st century and the rise to prominence of the feminist movement the concept of male dominance within heterosexual relationships is now regarded by a vast majority especially in developed nations as a relationship choice rather than the traditional orientation of it being the customary tilt of a relationship.
This societal preference of males being at the forefront of events also extends to sexuality. In the context of sexual relationships, male dominance affords the man the leadership role, allowing him to be the decision maker but with suggestive inputs from the female personality. In a BDSM oriented relationship, where the term maledom is more applicable, the male figure has unequivocal control over all proceedings in the relationship. The submissive (a female) relieves herself of all autonomy and acts based on the preference and dictation of the dominant male figure.
While the feminist and egalitarians alike show disdain for such sexual setting, where a woman is subject to the dictation of man, statistics indicate that up to 71% of males and 89% of females in heterosexual relationships show a marked preference for a male dominator in their relationships. The tendency for this predilection is traced back to the natural instincts of humanity. Without external interference, the biological and psychological orientation of the male and female gender encourages men to express a dominant predisposition than their female counterparts. In the world currently, the maledom trend especially in the BDSM setting, commands a strong followership. For men in those relationships, it is a medium to express their masculinity and sexuality to the fullest. And according to Dr. Leon Seltzer of Psychology Today submission on the female part represents their desire to be ‘irresistible,' so much that the opposite sex is unable to repel the allure of the feminine gender.
The Alpha Male
To imprint, an air of pure dominance on the submissive, the man in any relationship has to prove his mettle as the alpha male. The alpha male is one with inveterate confidence even in the face of obscurity, this character trait of confidence is often backed a will to resolve problems and the ability to make his presence felt in a societal setting. Such display of self-esteem and assertiveness extends into the bedroom with the most common reflection of it being sadistic and masochist behaviors. In such BDSM-styled setting the submissive who is on the receiving end the sadistic acts may or may not derive pleasure, the primary goal here is pleasing the dominant. For the dominant engaging in masochistic deeds could either be an extension of his domineering over the relationship or entirely suited to fulfill his sexual cravings and fantasies.
Aside from masochistic activities which are geared to inflict one form of pain or the other, other subtle yet effective activities in the form of instructions can be meted out on the submissive by the Alpha male in the BDSM scenario of maledom. Such practices include but are not limited to;
- Delaying or out rightly denying the submissive an orgasm
- Making the submissive pee while standing
- Setting a limit to the number of orgasms per day and specifying when these will occur
While these activities may not translate to pleasure for the submissive, as I said earlier, the goal here is not to afford the submissive pleasure, but instead to emphasize the authority and control of the dominant.
Sometimes, the submissive despite her commitment to the will of the dominant might resist adhering to such potentially obscure rules, the ability of the dominant male in a BDSM setting to mold the submissive to total submission irrespective of circumstance is what cements his image as an Alpha male to the submissive. Contrary to popular opinion, the pathway to influencing the submissive is based on an understanding of psychology rather than resorting to violence or abuse. In fact, the latter would most likely lead to a forfeiture of the relationship on the part of the submissive.
As with any BDSM relationship, effective communication is key to fluidity. For the Alpha male, expressing his opinions and ideas about the relationship in a clear, concise and straightforward manner is critical for to the sustenance of the power hierarchy. Most people might misinterpret this inclination of the Alpha to being assertive and direct to the point as insensitivity; it is, however, pertinent to highlight that sensitivity on the part of the Alpha male is critical to ensuring that the submissive does not feel ostracized in the relationship. Being emotionally astute means that the Alpha male is entirely in the Know of wants of the submissive without her even mentioning them, a character trait that further accentuates his picturesque statue of Alpha male.
What you need to be a dominant male (Alpha Male)
The famous saying ‘If you learn self-control, you can master anything’ highlights the importance of self-control on the part of the dominant male to the success of a maledom relationships. As a male dominant you cannot control another person if you don’t have complete mastery over your vices, emotions, and tendency to lash out. At the commencement of a Maledom relationship between two parties, issues are bound to arise, the way you handle such scenarios goes a long way to determining the longevity of such relationship. Learning to confront such situations on a neutral ground devoid of your emotional predilections assures the submissive that you have her intent at heart; potentiating the growth of trust in the relationship
In a Maledom relationship control is not limited to overseeing the affairs of the submissive. It is more encompassing, entailing that the dominant be responsible for the well being of the submissive. Inasmuch as the goal is to emphasize dominance, the dominant male must do so in a way that relieves the submissive of any harm, both physically and psychologically.
For a submissive to totally submit to the will of the dominant, she must have complete and adamantine trust in the dominant. Trustworthiness goes beyond claiming to be trustworthy, the actions and inactions of the dominant male have to reflect that he is indeed dependable. The ability to keep to words, consistency in handling matters arising and truthfulness are essential traits of a reliable, dominant male.
Experience on the part of the dominant male is critical to the survivability of a maledom relationship. Since you are the one steering the ship of the relationship it is imperative that you have an idea of the basic concepts of maledom like what practices are safe, how to read and understand the psyche of the submissive, how to be assertive in a non-violent and derogatory manner etc. One way to learn about such practices for prospective dominants is to seek the guidance and mentorship of a veteran dominant male figure. The internet is also a vast repository of knowledge on the subject. However, it is important that you source reference materials from credible sites.