Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Asses
No, it’s not what you think. The word “ass” when used to describe the posterior doesn’t come from the old word for donkey. Instead it has a legitimate origin, the Old English word “ars”, meaning the buttocks, which evolved into modern British English as “arse” and was changed in US English to “ass”. “Ass” has many meanings in this context. Most reference the position of the buttocks on the body, as in “ass end” and “ass backwards”.
The ass is the largest muscle in the human body, and both men and women have one, but there is a difference in how the ass is constructed as well as how it is viewed by each gender.
A man’s ass tends to be narrow and tight. Women have wider asses because of a wider pelvis to accommodate child bearing and birth, and their asses are usually rounder and softer and have a really erotic little jiggle.
Both men and women will speak of “my ass” in describing the location or body part, but when men see the soft sway of a woman walking, they’re likely to say something like, “now that’s an ass”, as if “ass” is one definition of desirability. I’m sure some women at least think the same thing about some men’s asses, but they never say that to men.
Just as with boobs, the range of sizes that excite men varies considerably and has done so over millennia. Early man made carved stone and pottery representations of women with exaggerated breasts, thighs and hips, and this depiction appears in more than one culture of the Stone Age. Historians believe these small statues were representations of goddesses of fertility. In an age where food was something to be run down on foot and fertility was a necessity, a woman who would be called “obese” today was likely a symbol of health and fertility.
Most depictions of women in the art that survives from ancient Greece and Rome carried on this theme of wide hips equating to fertility. The women also have thick waists, and though the breasts of women in this art would be considered small today, at the time may have been considered large. Ample nutrition hadn’t yet become the norm.
In the late 1800’s, the emphasis upon a woman’s hips was increased by fashion designers. The corset not only lifted the breasts, it severely constricted the waist and as a result, the hips appeared to be larger.
The “flappers” of the 1920’s apparently didn’t like their asses very much. Waistlines were lowered to the hips to minimize the swell from the waist and give the woman a young, boyish figure.
The flapper era also gave birth to the girdle. The purpose of this device was to smooth a woman’s thighs, hips and waist to create that straight line from ribs to knees. The girdle was a tube made of elastic material that extended from just above the knees to high on the waist, and worked by squishing everything into a smooth and relatively straight surface.
The Great Depression changed all that. Women were supposed to look like women again although in a very moral way. Dresses of the day didn’t fit tight to a woman’s body, but did show that she had a bust, a waist, and hips.
WWII changed everything again. Women went to work in factories while men went to war. Pants and blouses were the clothes of choice from the perspectives of comfort and safety. Women needed a way to keep the pants in place, so they wore belts that once again, narrowed their waists and accented their breasts and hips. Men didn’t seem to mind at all, and if one looks at the “nose art” painted on the war planes of the time, it would seem that big breasts and wide hips were back in style.
Post WWII fashion designers again attempted to minimize a woman’s hips, and the girdle was again introduced into the woman’s underwear drawer, only this time with a twist. Before, when a woman wore dresses, it was only necessary to smooth the outside of her body to yield that straight line look. Now that she wore pants, the inside of her thighs needed to be smoothed too, because what woman wanted to have flabby inner thighs.
The result was a garment that was difficult to put on and difficult to take off. They were torture devices, not necessarily for the women who wore them, but for the young guys who tried to get a date in the mood with a little manual manipulation.
The scenario went like this. The guy and the girl would engage in what was called “parking” at the time. That meant the guy and girl would sit in his car somewhere with some privacy. Usually that was out on a lonely country road or in the back row of a drive-in theater.
After some heavy petting, the guy would convince the girl to let him unhook her bra. That usually led to a lot of fondling of her breasts by the guy and some gasps and panting breaths by the girl. Then, he attempted to reach the ultimate goal we guys all talked about but seldom achieved – the hairy little happy box between the girl’s thighs and the hope he could replace his fingers with his cock.
It wasn’t that the girls always objected. Many welcomed feeling the guy’s hand slipping between her inner thigh and the leg of the girdle. It was just that by the time a guy was able to get his hand high enough, the leg of the girdle had cut off the circulation in his hand and he couldn’t feel anything, much less move his fingers.
Yes, she could have taken the girdle off, and some girls were that accommodating, but it took a while and sort of dampened the mood, and getting one of the damned things back on afterward was nearly impossible in the seat of a car.
I’m certain that since their mothers also wore girdles, those mothers were well aware of the ability of a girdle to stop the advances of a guy out to pop the girl’s cherry. Girdles were expensive and they wouldn’t have laid out that much cash just so their little darling could keep up with the fashion of the time. They were the modern equivalent of the 16th century chastity belt.
There’s a common thread to all this rambling. Even though at various times in history, and even today with anorexic models strutting the latest fashions down the runway, a nice female ass has always been a favorite of men and probably always will.
Various studies have proven that men haven’t changed much in what they consider erotic and desirable since the Stone Age. We men may ogle the bikini clad women with flat chests and boy butts in magazines, but that changes when controlled experiments are conducted into what turns men on.
When shown women in any manner of dress, men will gravitate toward faces first but will still rate women according to body type, and they’ll usually favor large breasts and wide hips. It’s the instinct to select fertility over appearance. We can’t really control it. It’s hard-wired into our brains.
So, to any ladies who might be reading this blog, toss those body shapers and control top panty hose and let that sexy ass swing or bob up and down. I’m not sure what causes some to swing and others to bob, but either way, it’s a sight we men love to watch.
Oh, and while you’re at it, those bras made from thin foam and microfiber material that smooth everything out and don’t show seams… not sexy at all. Toss those and get some bras with soft cups, preferably mesh, or go without a bra and let those sexy tits swing too.
As the old Duke Ellington song said, “It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing”. That sexy swing, top and bottom, is a sight that makes us men really happy, happy enough we’ll buy your drinks and give you flowers and all sorts of sparkly stuff without you ladies even having to ask.